Happy 24

Birthdays these past years have almost been something I have dreaded. This year is no different.
It's not that I'm opposed to getting older. It's more of a painful reminder to me that I'm still in the same place I was a year ago. Not really making progress with my life. The agonizing standstill.

I've tried exterior sources for enjoyment and happiness.
There was a girl who I thought would make me happy and she ended up ruining my life. As much as I hate to admit it, she still haunts me every day...four months after the fact. Too cowardly to break things off and just left me hanging. Still hanging.

But anyone who does that clearly isn't worth anyone else's time so I really wonder why she torments me so. Bah.

That's not what today is about. It's about me.  24 years. It feels like a long and yet a short time.  I feel old seeing people I thought were young when I was still young too growing up and making good lives.

I think it's time for me to make mine.  So in anticipation for my 25th birthday I'm going to make a lot of changes. Start making myself again. For me this time. When you come around I'm going to enjoy you and drink you in.  It will be a good year and 25 will symbolize how far I've come from now.